Accepting.
I F(21), have come to realise I am aromantic. I thought at first that when someone expressed their romantic interest in me and I got uncomfortable, it was because I just had no feelings. I’ve come to realise that the nausea and overwhelming anxiety that I get when someone shows any kind of romantic interest in me is because I simply harbour no romantic interest in anyone.
I think part of me realised this when I was with my ex boyfriend— we were together for only a week before he broke it off, but all I felt was relief. The idea of coming to terms with it and dealing with it is scary, seeing everyone around me fall in love and live their lives when I know I don’t want that with anyone. Part of me still feels that there’s something wrong inside, I think that comes from a long time of being told I’m that way. I feel relief now, and yet I feel sad. I yearn so badly for connection in the form of platonic relationships, but the idea of being romantic with anyone or anyone feeling anything romantic for me makes me feel unwell. It’s a hard thing to balance, I only hope it gets better— especially the part about having to actually deal with other people admitting romantic feelings towards me.