Tbh im not really sure how to start this. I apologize if this gets long. I just know im frustrated.
I (32f) have been with my bf (30) for 3 and a half years and he is wonderful. He is exactly the kind of man I want to spend my life with. Hes handsome, strong, supports me and our family and kind. He is incredibly loyal and I trust he would never stray.
When we met I was actually a SW and had been for a few years. We did not meet due to the SW. We met FB dating and He was cool with it considering it was my livelihood and i had financial freedom which I was always generous with, not just with him but all my close friends. That being said when we met I wasnt really looking to settle down. I had just gotten out of a very intense relationship with a man I thought was my soul mate. So we started as friends and built a wonderful friendship before things got serious.
Even as friends we talked about a relationship and what it might look like if we dated and what not. His thing was i would need to quit the SW which was ubderstandable if things were to get serious, and I was ok with that. One thing I laid out of the table from the very beginning is I needed someone that could keep up with my insatiable sex drive. I was a SW for a reason after all, it worked for me, I enjoyed it, and I made stupid money. It also kept me satisfied.
I know sex isn't everything. But it was important to me that I had good sexual chemistry with my future partner. He insisted that he could keep up and that it wouldn't become an issue.
We had great sex in the beginning, a couple times a day and it was great. I was always satisfied.
Life has changed quite a bit for us. I got out of the SW game. We bought a house together, moved our kids in with us and have settled down into a nice little life together and I love him dearly. But our sex life is non existent. Like......dead. I think we maybe do it once a month. And I am struggling. I am loyal, I would never stray or cheat on him. I would never jeprodize the life with have together. Ive been through a lot of shit in my life and this is the most mentally and physical stable ive been and im happy.
But he never initiates anymore. And i never do because half the time hes too tired or not in the mood. If we do have sex its late at night when I think hes gone to bed and he'll texts me from the bedroom "want some 🍆?" Or something like that. Of course j jump on any time he wants to have sex but it last like 2 minutes and its usually all for him. I can't remember the last time I actually got to finish. So im at this point where id rather just not do it at all because im just more frustrated after. In every other way he is the perfect man just he literally has no sex drive anymore.
I literally want to cry. I feel so neglected and deprived. I can't help but think about It all the time. And it makes me sad because I used to have sooo much good sex. With my bf, with clients, with my ex. Im struggling but idk what to do.
Thanks for reading....