u/ChelStein

New place, not sure if they're a red flag

This is a bit long, so I apologize in advance for what may drag on a little. I'm a new LAC, battling imposter syndrome BAD. During my internship, I mostly worked with teens, so I make sure I have that as a selling point on my resume. I got an interview with a PP near me, and during the interview they emphasized how excited they were that I was willing to work with children. Now personally, I do NOT want to work with children, but I know some places its mandatory, so I clarified that while I felt more comfortable with teens specifically, Id be willing to try working with kids after some training. They hire me. As my start date gets closer, I see them scheduling their waitlist of only kids on my schedule. I freak out, and while it was only a small amount of clients, see this as a trend that I wanted to get ahead of. I send them a professional email on a Friday expressing my concern that I wasnt necessarily comfortable working with kids, and that I was nervous that the trend would continue and that my schedule would fill up with children. I get no response. Monday comes along, and its my orientation day. Immediately my supervisor pulls me in to her office and chastises me for essentially pulling the wool over their eyes. She tells me they hired me because they were excited about how willing I was to learn. I explained to her that I just wanted to get some experience and training in play therapy before jumping in with a client base Im not confident working with, because Im nervous about the ethical implications. She passive aggressively tells me shes not sure why I freaked out because there wasnt that many kids even on my schedule, and I feel like she isn't hearing me. However, after orientation, the children disappear off my schedule, and some adults are added. I feel like this is a peace offering, and that they may actually be willing to work with me, but the taste in my mouth is so bad that I dont want to stay at all anymore. However, I also feel as though I owe them because they seem to genuinely be trying to work with me here. Im so torn, and its causing me severe anxiety. I would love any and all advice, because I really dont know what to do.

Tldr; new PP gave me kids after I told them I wanted experience first, but seems to be trying to fix it. I dont want to stay but feel like I need to now. What would you do?

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u/ChelStein — 22 hours ago

Hey guys, a little backstory. I was diagnosed and treated for stage 1 ovarian cancer this past December, and I ended up having a radical hysterectomy. Everything besides my vagina is gone. My problem now resides in my perceived inability to have sex now. My boyfriend and I are in a great spot in our relationship, and I finally felt like I was in a place where sex was fun for once and not something I was guilted into having against my will. Now, even going slow, I have a lot of pain and feel like we cant go that far in anymore without it hurting too much. I feel so betrayed by my body, and feel like I'm being punished for finally being happy. Has anybody else experienced this? Did it get better? I'm open to any and all commentary, I feel so alone and I'm battling depression hard right now. I do plan on seeing a sex therapist hopefully soon to at least get these feelings out somewhere safe, too.

Tldr; has anybody's sex life been affected post radical hysterectomy, and did it ever get better? I need some hope right now.

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u/ChelStein — 15 days ago