Getting divorced and keeping the house, I’m in a tough spot. Home value $610,000, remaining balance ~$180,000, current rate 4.5%. 30yr fixed.
Have to cash my ex-wife out so anticipating new loan at ~$420,000.
I need a total payment (mortgage, taxes, insurance) going forward to be under $2900 (it’s $1600 today). Taxes and insurance are $447.
Credit is 770 and income qualifies for a solo mortgage.
Context: from kindergarten through senior year, I had 12 addresses across four states. I never felt like I was on stable ground or like I had a home growing up.
A few months after my wife moved out two of our three kids came to me in tears and begged me not to sell the house. They said it’s the only thing that feels stable in their life right now and that it’s their safe space. We purchased in 2008 so it’s the only home they’ve ever known.
Finances post divorce are brutal (10/10 do NOT recommend) but given my history, I will do anything to help my kids feel some sense of safety in this process so I need to make this work.
My kids are 13, 10, and 7 so the priority is the next ~12 years. I like the safety of a 30yr fixed, but understand I may need to be more flexible given my constraints (need a payment under $2900 all in).
My challenge is that I don’t really understand mortgages at all. Closing costs, fees, points, and the other hidden costs are a complete mystery, so I’m at the mercy of the person on the other end of the phone.
I will gladly mortgage the future (pun intended) to ensure my kids have a stable, loving, safe port in this storm. I’m not concerned with making a smart investment, or maximizing equity, only ensuring stability for the next ~12 years.
The only pushback I’ll offer is this: I understand people who say the move is to sell and that kids are resilient. I respectfully disagree. I do not believe kids are resilient, I believe they are survivors. How much of the messed up stuff about you is from when you were 8 years old vs. 28 years old? Kids survive but they carry the scars. My kids have only asked for one thing, and I am going to do this for them.
Heroes of Reddit, what would you do in this position?