5 years smoking, I need to stop.
I'm 18f, I started smoking at about 13 when my puffbar ran out. i HATE it, i smoke like half a pack a day, sometimes more or less. I don't want to still smoke when I'm 19, 20, 21. its hard to get a good breath and sometimes I just can't breathe well.. I usually smoke with my mom, she's also wanting to quit but not as bad as I want to, she probably won't with me. how can I quit even if she doesn't?? we live together. and we tried making it to where we could only smoke outside, but that turned into out the window because of the weather.
I want to quit so bad, but i struggle to not pick up the next one, like id love to never touch one again. i hate the smell, dependency and i hate doing it in general. but then the craving hits, and eventually every time i just load a bowl or roll a smoke (its WAY cheaper). and the times we've had to go without smoking for a few days bc of money, were hell because of the emotional changes. I also have borderline personality disorder if that matters, idk. I've tried to plan quit days, but that morning, the second I wake up either I forget its that day or I give into the cravings. how do I even pick a quit day???
also, once I'm officially quitting, what do I do every time I feel like need a smoke??? I never know what else I could do besides smoke or snack on something, but right when I'm done eating I want a smoke... if I physically can't smoke bc I'm somewhere its not allowed, I'm usually totally fine tho. but I can't really go places like that and just spend the day there everyday till I'm okay without.
I know my lungs aren't healthy, I hate not breathing. even of I cut it down drastically to like 2-3 smokes a day that's okay with me for now. please help?? and please don't hate on me, or my mom. you don't know our situation..