Do unhealthy istps behave like this?
Hi everyone, I do not have any close istps in my life, but there's been a relationship that has been bothering me for a while. So, I have an isfj 9w1 bestie in a relationship with an istp 9w8 and it seems quite toxic with a lack of respect . I've already posted this in to get their perspective on this and an intp said something along the lines of this due to your inferior Fe and sarcasm. So, I thought I should ask you guys for your opinion too since you may understand his behavior better and since me as infp 4w3 sharing no functions with you.
So,my friend is a 19 y/o and the guy she's seeing is 26.She has been dating him for 9 months now and he asked her out first. She has told me that he has called her ugly and talentless.She also thinks he's way too good for him and I think he acts that way too. Fyi, he's smart, a fast learner and handsome. He's also had tons of experience with women and doesn't hesitate to talk about his experience, meanwhile this is her first relationship.I've known this guy for a while, I didn't think he was problematic b4 this becuz he kept to himself mostly and we've only made small talk.But now I'm seeing a lot of that non- chalance as arrogance. He also abandoned her when we were all hanging out together.He also called their relationship a fling and she said that she thinks he's trolling becuz he also joked about them marrying.
This guy also acts like a pushover sometimes. He makes her plan out all the dates, she has to drag him to the date and would have her do all the work if he could. And she said she loves helping him and that he's still a good guy but I honestly can't see it.It also makes her sad when he acts like he doesn't care, but she thinks he's always been like that. My friends notice this too and doesn't like it but nobody wants to talk about this with her, but she's someone who always lets people step over her boundaries and relentlessly wants to help people. I've told her that she deserves better than this and that she can talk about her feelings whenever she wants with me.I did kind of talk shit about him btw my friends and I think he's come to know of this, so I been catching some glares. It does make me uncomfortable but Idc, someone need to call this shit out and people are too permissive
I think he's a douche because he's a douche and his type just flavours it so holding nothing against y'all, but anyways I would really appreciate your input.Any of y'all going/gone thru a similar phase?