u/Chance-Truth3352

I lost my dog on 4/24. I am so hurt. he was my everything. my very best friend. he was an underlying condition he was born with and suffering everyday that i knew nothing about. he would always bounce back. you would look at him and could tell he was so healthy and happy. i took him to the vet because he wasn’t bouncing back. they told me what he’s going through and i lost it. they offered treatments and i was willing to go into debt for the rest of my life, then they told me it was something he was born with and not curable. i knew as his mama i had to take away his suffering and give it to myself. every morning and every night is hard because i was robbed of getting to see him grow old and become a wise dog. my baby was only 4. i took him on what i thought would be his very first of trips last weekend to visit my boyfriend in indiana. he loved my boyfriend and would get the “wiggles“ every time he saw him. when we left i told him we would be back up here a lot. i was not only robbed, but so was my boyfriend. my boyfriend created his own special bond with my Happy. Everyone loved him. my boyfriend had came down and we took him to the vet just thinking we were going to get the “annoying“ medicine again. (getting him to open his mouth to take it was a fight and a memory i will always laugh at) but no medicine was going to cure him. i had to make the most difficult decision of my life. i chose peace for him. peace with Jesus. i chose no more suffering for him. i laid down in front of him and had to say goodbye to my best friend. nothing anyone can say to me will ever hurt me. Happy was my best friend. i feel hurt and devastate. i don’t know how to grieve or what to do. i just want my baby back. i have found myself crying and yelling. i part of me died that day. i can’t throw away his food. it’s still in his bowl. i’m just not ready to accept it. i am in such a dark place. i’m really leaning on God through this. i know i will see my happy again. but for now i will grieve every part of him. i love my happy.