u/CertifiedSamosa

▲ 26 r/india

ok so i'm 27, working in noida, and i just realised i haven't had a real conversation with a close friend in like 6 weeks. not a meme forward. not a "haha" reply. an actual conversation.

two years back i had a solid group. we'd just randomly show up at each other's places, late night bike rides for no reason, calls that went nowhere for hours. now? 4 out of 6 of us have basically ghosted each other and not even because of a fight. just life happened i guess.

one got married and fully disappeared into his wife's social circle (classic) one relocated to blr for a startup. two are in full grind mode like 6am gym... late... office... sleep... repeat... and me? sitting here on a sunday realising my last "hangout" was at someone's wedding 3 months ago where we talked for 20 mins before everyone went back to their tables.

the thing that gets me is nobody talks about this. we talk about men not opening up, toxic masculinity, all of that. but nobody talks about how indian men just silently lose their whole social life in their mid-20s and it's somehow normal?? like your hostel and college canteen were basically forcing you to be social. once that's gone, you're just... on your own. and nobody taught us how to maintain friendships as adults.

i'm not in a bad place or anything. work is fine. but genuinely asking did this happen to you too?

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u/CertifiedSamosa — 7 days ago

ok so you know how in subway surfers there's no finish line right.

you just run. dodge things. collect coins. the train gets closer. the speed increases. and the whole point of the game is just to not die for as long as possible. there's no level where it says "congratulations you made it." it just ends when you mess up. and then you start again.

that's just. indian male life bro.

10th boards...dodge karo...12th...faster...entrance exam...even faster... college placement... the train is literally on top of you now. salary hike... promotion... own flat... shaadi... bacche... unka future...blah blah and somewhere in between all of this you're also supposed to be emotionally available, physically fit, financially sorted, and mentally stable.

and the worst part? every time you clear one obstacle you think ok. finally. i can breathe.

and then a new obstacle spawns. immediately. the game didn't pause. it never pauses. i told my papa once that i felt genuinely lost. like i didn't know what i was actually running towards anymore. he said "pehle stable ho jao, sab theek ho jaega" Paa i was already stable. nothing got theek. the coins just changed shape.

what kills me is nobody ever asked if i wanted to play this game. i just woke up one day and i was already in it. already running. already behind somehow.

and if you stop even for a second to figure out what you actually want from this one life you have, everyone around you looks at you like you voluntarily jumped in front of the train...irl theres no pause button on top left corner

"arrey itni achi life hai tere paas. kya problem hai?"

bro the problem is i've been running since i was 15 and i don't even know what i'm running towards. that's the problem.

does anyone else feel this or am i just bad at the game

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u/CertifiedSamosa — 9 days ago