u/CertainInteraction4

That is a LIE!

Over the course of ten years, I have approached more than one, and less than ten, food retailers. It was my hope to figure out a way to get surplus food to my local food bank. The last store I asked responded with more hostility than the first. Another store sent me a snide email.

We all know there are laws in place to protect them. They know that too. There are people willing to carry this stuff where it needs to go. Bureaucracy is getting in the way AGAIN.

RANT about food waste OVER.

It sucks being an awkward woman. I'm this way due to various levels of bullying and abuse in school, work, and from siblings. Please bear with me. I was planning to post this in another sub. I just need to get it out.

Cannot exists as who I am. Even grocery shopping:

Reddit comment disclaimer: I probably shouldn't be using this account. This is my life. I have no reason to lie about the internalized racism I am noticing.  Black people trying to front for their managers by profiling other blacks should be ashamed. They made my relative cry.  I am fkn mad.  I have training on asset protection.  I have studied the legality.  I know what is and isn't legal.  I also have business training.  I am fkn tired of people being okay with black women being profiled because they think we all steal.  We are not one huge brick of black thief that breaks off and runs to steal at the earliest opportunity.  We are individuals.  I don't care if your ai flagged me.  Your ai is fkn wrong.  

The other day, I went to the store with a younger relative.  Black male security guard looks me over and decides me and this person were not worth talking to.  He looks over us to greet a woman coming in.  That's instance one.

With the exception of maybe two people, me and my relative were followed by regular clothed/blue shirt wearing black employees (the walk down the aisle, do a fake neck twist look around, and follow the person off of the aisle.  That's instance two.

For those who don't know, every time a customer (in my case, a black woman) confronts them, a report is made in their reporting app.  So don't dare report unless you wish to be followed even closer. 

Manager in blue collared shirt pretends to be doing counts everywhere we go.  That's instance three.

Black woman at self-checkout watching us like a hawk.  Not any of the others there.  When we finished paying, she left the podium.  This has been going on a while.  But my relative finally got to see it firsthand.  She was shook.  That's instance four.

In parking lot, the two people I am sure were plainclothes black employees making their way back inside.  After being requested to go outside.  That's five.

Also parking lot, other things in between, but I'll stick to the big stuff.

Unmarked vehicle parks across from me with glaring lights in my windshield.  

Police car scares off guy who needed food when he cruised into lot across the way.

Maybe, I'm just in a bad area and everyone is suspect.  But we didn't imagine the unmarked police/security vehicle that cruised past us and activated his lights.  We are staying somewhere else temporarily due to an act of nature. Every time we are out and about, the security vehicle is there. Usually after housekeeping walks past my car. He is there right now.

My relative cried real fkn tears.  I had to explain to her this is the reality of being a black woman.  We are rarely trusted or believed.  

We've been through some stuff and have had it flipped back on me/us:

Had a female teacher try to sexually groom my kid bro.  She started calling the police on my mom for shopping (at the Groomer's other place of work=a supermarket) because my mom told her to stop the sexually suggestive requests or her @$$ would be grass. Cops sided with the groomer teacher. Same intimidation tactics.  It's a small butthole town with butthole small town politics.  You can't make that ish up.

Why this topic has me fired up?:

Two nights ago, I'm on my way home in a town I've only driven through a few times.  Dark, winding road, and alone.  I see a cop sitting alone with his lights on.  I was going through a particularly sad time, so I was listening to music.  The installed subwoofer was not my choice/idea.  I keep it as low as possible, but it still has some bass.  I knew as soon as I drove past the cop, I was going to get pulled over.  Flat knew it.  Two minutes later, I'm on the side of the road.

First, it was because of my off-road lights (not true; a cop friend put them in).  Next, it was my failure to maintain lane.  Vehicle was top-heavy and i went over the gradient but corrected almost immediately.  There was a gray van behind me whipping all over both lanes.  They never get the ones they should get cause they're looking at me.  What a shame?  Third, it was my nervousness.   Preface, I have anxiety and a lisp.  Not a good combination for a traffic stop.

He has me step out and there is a canine unit already in route.  Huh?  I know the number of the unit, and the county, I think.  He asked me if I want to submit to a vehicle search.  I said no.  But if you want to run a blood test or a sobriety test, I'll do it.  He said no.  The dog was inbound.  I should lean on the car when it gets there.  Okay.  Fine.  He at least kept it cordial. Legally inside of car without probable cause needs a warrant.  Open air around car requires no warrant.  Got it.

I ended up being one black lady on the side of the road with three male cops.  Of course, there's the usual talkative one.  The one that keeps you busy while the others do whatever.  Dog supposedly sniffs an illegal substance in my car.  I'm like, hell nah.  But at this point, I'm stuck.  They now have probable cause to search my vehicle (or I go to jail).  Which they did.  My most private possessions were not off limits.  I bawled my eyes out while hoping everything that was once there was still there, and that nothing would be planted.  

Because I have anxiety, I kept myself busy politely talking about recent natural disasters, vicious dogs, store profiling because of shopping while black, and etc (relevant to the situation).  Anything to keep my mind off of my current situation.

I know for a fact that they were lying.  If the dog did "hit" on something it was because of my female dog's scent.  She's in heat.  April seems to be her month.  Our female dog gets in on that side and will walk past that side and sometimes sniff also.  We have neighborhood cats.  I'm suspecting some conscious/unconscious handler coaxing. I saw something pass between the handler and the stopping cop.  Not sure what that signal meant.  I need to check up on their bodycam release policies.  I'm sure everything wasn't kosher about that stop.  I'm tired of being targeted just because of the skin I wear or the car i drive.  Or the subwoofer I listen to when I'm sad (literally on the lowest bass and treble bcos I don't like all that either).

Felt like this stop:

https://www.instagram.com/reel/DXWrA4jjvbH/

Receipts for why dogs aren't reliable and can be used to discriminate:

https://www.npr.org/sections/thetwo-way/2011/01/07/132738250/report-drug-sniffing-dogs-are-wrong-more-often-than-right

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Florida_v._Harris

Controversy over drug-sniffing dogs centers on questions regarding their accuracy, reliability, and potential for racial bias, with studies suggesting high false-positive rates. Critics argue that handler cues—intentional or not—can lead to false alerts, creating pretextual searches and violating Fourth Amendment rights, despite courts often treating canine alerts as probable cause. 

Key Aspects of the Controversy

Questionable Reliability: Studies have indicated that drug-sniffing dogs can have high false-positive rates, with some reports suggesting that in field conditions, they may falsely alert significantly more than in controlled training, sometimes making them no more accurate than a coin flip.

Handler Cueing: Research suggests dogs may react to subtle, subconscious cues from their handlers, creating a "self-fulfilling prophecy" where the dog alerts because the handler expects drugs.

Fourth Amendment Concerns: While the Supreme Court has ruled a dog sniff is not a search, a positive alert provides probable cause to search a vehicle, a standard critics argue is too low given the potential for error.

Legal Challenges: In many cases, dogs cannot differentiate between legal, prescribed substances (like medical marijuana) and illegal ones, leading to complex legal challenges regarding, according to the article "When Good Dogs Make Bad Law: The Dilemma of Drug-Sniffing K-9s in a Changing Legal Landscape".

Evidence of Inaccuracy: The Florida v. Harris (2013) Supreme Court case was notable for highlighting data that suggested many dog alerts are incorrect, according to Wikipedia.

Discriminatory Deployment: Critics argue that the deployment of drug dogs is often targeted, resulting in discriminatory practices and high emotional stress, shaming, and disempowerment for individuals subjected to searches. 

Syracuse University +7

No one who gets into that side of the vehicle has the wherewithall to smoke weed.  One officer seemed sincere, so I hate to think he got mixed up with something uncool.  But, after what's going on in the u.s., I'm lukewarm on police.  They are complicit with so much b.s.  Any bad apples are their problem.  I'm tired of them making it the public's problem. I think he thought it was a black male driving the vehicle.  The vehicle is very old but nice.  Nothing screams expensive drug runner about it.

If there is more going on, I can only think it might have something to do with my employer (they watch employees 24/7 on cameras and have a team to follow people around town and to their homes=it's in our training); a religious couple (which includes a handsy/gropey husband), and the sneaky stalker neighbor I have. Stalker said he would kill me (plus 2 others) or have me sent to jail. Nice guy. Employer has been trying to force me out since day five or so. Disability related. As a result, I keep track of my work. They're trying to claim my notes are somehow a form of stealing. They're not. The same info I have, a customer might also have. Nothing confidential or trade secret about them. My notes only show what I did that day, my tasks, and what other tasks I took on. How do I know they are claiming this? Changes in protocol after I was observed taking notes by more than one person, sudden targeted training dumps, and a coworker who stated a lie.

Back to my frustrations at the traffic stop:

I think, when the officer realized I was a black woman in the car, he didn't care.  I've never felt as violated as I did that night.  Even when compared to the dudes who have stalked me, threatened to SA me, nearly abducted me, made my jobs hell, told me off for rejecting them, trespassed on my property, cyberstalked me, and lied on me.  Those guys didn't have a protective order of status around them.  Or a union that will back them up no matter what.  If I hadn't been an awkward woman, those officers would have messed up.  No one cares about how an introverted black woman feels.

Some of the "personal" stuff they found wasn't even MINE. Still embarrassing though. It was things I've collected evidentiary wise. So what they think they know. They don't. Ask me. Don't assume. Let me tell you the story. Forgot. They won't listen. It's been that way my whole life. I'll take a line from Equalizer:

^("The world is full of so-called "men" like you, and, in a perfect world, everything we do comes with a price, but this ain't a perfect world. People do bad things. If you're lucky, you get a chance to set it right, but) ^(most of the time it goes unpunished.)

Too many bad people getting away with stuff against me and those closest to me. Some of them hiding behind a fake badge of power, religiosity, and piety. While doing some of the most heinous things to generations of women and children. I'm tired of paying for every accidental boo-boo or misstep. While bad people around me get away with molestation, stalking, SA, grooming, groping, and other crimes. My extended and close family's life has been a strange mix of Precious, fatal attraction, and Copland. All we asked for was peace. All we've gotten is pain. They do say: *"Don't pray for peace."

My remaining family is the product of at least three generations of failed social systems. Including foster care for a bit. Details to follow: (I added a previous saved draft to this)

There are lifetime effects of living with lying, spiteful siblings:  "I didn't eat breakfast today."  They did.  "He was mean to me."  Then, stop abusing your bros/sisters, stop possibly molesting your brother (couldn't find definitive proof), stop stealing from nearby stores, school, and neighbors.  Welfare gets involved.  Family hurt.  Finances set back. Had a deadbeat wife raper for a sperm donor who also caused pain and financial suffering for me and my family:  My adoptive father carried the raper's load and his own through it all. 

Things were said.  Things were done against my family.  Big city cops lying: Tried to make me say eczema was abuse marks.  Tried to convince me we didn't eat at home. I wouldn't do it.  It wasn't true.  We were taken from our home anyway. 

Every one of us was either raped, SA'd or physically assaulted by the religious persons they put us with.   The pastor would have my tween sister sit at a baby table or on his lap.  The wife assaulted me once and flayed skin off of my nose.  Every October, I get a bump in that same spot.  She walked around topless or naked, calling us *nwords*.  She called one of the boys, "X", her little boyfriend.  "X" and his older sisters SA'd two kids not older than two y.o. who lived in that evil home.  

One of the kids came to me showing me the inside of her undies the day we walked into that home.  She expected me to take part in that filth.  I made sure she knew i was not like that.  I started taking notes on everything bad in my life because of that home.  The two tiny babies were not believed.  Authorities claimed they lied because it was a pastor and his wife.

"X" SA'd my younger sister multiple times in a closet, less than fifteen feet away from my bed.  He threatened to kill her.  I was wondering why she became so docile.   She was never like that growing up.  One day, he got bold enough to shove her down in front of me. Hellfire almost came out that day. The old witch saw it. If she had not stopped us, to save her little underage "boyfriend", I probably would've beaten him senseless. I found out about the SA after we were allowed to go back home. My sister still isn't the same.  None of us are. She was later SA'd in school and suspended along with the boy. Authority figures always dropping the ball unless the person they are after is someone they do not like.

Funnily enough, we were allowed to return home after I found a child skeleton in the couple's backyard.  A small child with a female pelvis and only half a leg.  I was convinced that it wasn't a child's skeleton by others.  I was told it was an animal.  I was at a college level comprehension in only sixth/seventh grade.  I wasn't dumb.  I know a human skeleton from an animal.  

Ranting about life over for now. Getting pummeled hurts. Getting humiliated for trying to do the right thing always makes every life decision bittersweet. Even the good ones.

edit: I'm to I ; clarity