I’m losing my 3 daughters to parental alienation and I feel completely powerless against money, optics, & manipulation
I honestly don’t even know where to start anymore. I think I just need someone to hear me.
About five - six years ago, I made the painful, but necessary decision to cut ties with my own immediate family members because of long-term abuse and toxicity. It was one of the hardest decisions of my life, but I continue to believe it was the healthier choice.
Then I got divorced. From someone with Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD).
My ex-wife spent years rebuilding relationships with members of my former family that she previously hated, and over time I realized she was carefully building an “army” of people around her to help shape a narrative about me. She’s extremely focused on optics, appearances, and controlling how other people see her.
Now my two 14-year-old daughters have been emotionally and physically separated from me for the last 9 months despite me having 50/50 custody rights. I still have my 10-year-old daughter with me, and she’s honestly my best friend right now, but my ex is trying to take her from me too.
One of the hardest parts is religion. Since leaving our former faith, my daughters are being told things that imply I’m morally unsafe, spiritually lost, or that I won’t be with them in the next life because I left the religion. I feel like my kids are being taught to fear me or see me as “less than” because of my beliefs.
Meanwhile, I’m in the middle of a formal psych evaluation process involving both parents (so I can finally get the court to recognize her NPD!). My fear is that the collateral sources will overwhelmingly favor my ex simply because she has spent years cultivating relationships and appearances while I isolated myself after cutting off abusive family members and leaving my former faith.
Today I also found out I got laid off.
I already took out a second mortgage to survive legal fees. My ex remarried someone with unlimited financial resources, and I feel like I’m being slowly crushed into submission financially while trying to fight for my children.
I feel terrified all the time. And I honestly don’t even know how I will survive the rest of this year.
It’s like I’m being punished for making the difficult ethical decisions in my life instead of the socially strategic or convenient ones.
And I feel like I’m watching my daughters slowly disappear from me and be actively propagandized against me while I’m completely powerless to stop it.
Has anyone here actually survived something like this? Did your children ever come back to you emotionally? How do you keep going when it feels like money and narrative control matter more than truth? Where do people find refuge when there really isn’t any??