Ah, not sure if it's even worth talking about, but my friend has always been emotionally unstable, even more than me I believe. But, I struggle too yk, I also have a problem with sa, with addictions, with s h, with parents.
Before I became close to her, I started s h because I just wanted to get some things off my mind. Then after getting close I began to listen to her vent. About how she couldn't stop cutting. I pretended to be oblivious, to be innocent and free from all those troubles. It's not her fault she was unknowingly triggering me, because I never spoke up about it.
Then she noticed, and I told her. I was never someone to be fully vulnerable to anyone, so I never told her the big stuff. She was supportive, she was one of the only reasons I was still alive at that point.
Then she snapped. I know she was tired that day, that she was stressed with work, but I had the same responsibilities too. I cut again because I wasn't feeling well, and I told her. 'it won't stop bleeding'.
She then told me to learn to control myself, to help myself. I don't know why it bothered me so much. Maybe because I was always trying to help myself. To understand why. But hearing her say that, I felt like I did nothing.
She told me I was lucky to have a parent that at least put balm on the scars, but I never told her they were doing it out of shame of me.
I know she's struggling, she even apologised for it later. That's why I won't talk to her about it. I won't beat a dead horse, but I want to let it out someway.
Recently she sent me a link for a yt vid, 'house of puso' then told me to not watch it. Like she was tempting me. She told me if be too scared, that I'd never be able to make it through. I hated it for some reason. So I watched it. I told her that it seemed very deep. That it had a lot of symbolisms, about how Puso was always avoiding his problems.
Then she told me I was wrong. She went on a rant about how puso got assaulted and other things, stuff that I didn't know of because I only watched an episode.
So I watched the full thing. There was literally nothing about how he got sa'd. Maybe there were hints, but it's not a fact unless proven by the creator.
I don't know why, but having been used to fandom culture and theorising with others, the way she shot down my speculations down so fast was almost cruel to me.
Idk that's all, my head hurts. Also she always calls me weak and stuff, but I'm more physically stronger than her (I'm a girl too btw not sure if that was clear)