Hi. Firstly, thank you for all of the information I have gleaned here. I’m (M39) on day five of 150mg XL for major depressive disorder.
For background, I started Lexapro 10mg in 2020. I was on it until January of this year, when I discontinued without medical advice (bad idea) due to the numbness, sexual side effects, and feeling it wasn’t helping anymore. I generally thought I was doing better but still had depressive episodes, anxiety, and zero attention span.
Last month though, I got disproportionately depressed, obsessed, and anxious about a brief romantic situation (my first in about two years) that ended poorly because of me (mostly and I did apologize). I made things worse by not being able to control how sad I felt while it was happening and a two weeks later completely spun out to an unhealthy degree.
I started seeing a therapist last week and realized afterwards that I probably wouldn’t have been such a mess during/after if I was medicated. The next day, I went to a new GP, asked for a Wellbutrin script based on it having less side effects, and started on Sunday.
Mornings through late afternoon, I’m still a mess and obsess on the romantic situation, though to usually a lesser extent (I know it’s early days). In the evening after dinner, however, I feel like a normal human being. I can think about and accept what happened and generally feel ok, but then I go back to feeling terrible in the morning. Is this normal to initially feel better in the PM?
I’m also having trouble being comfortable going out. Partially, it’s because there’s a legitimately good chance I’ll run into the person I was seeing (which happened before I spun out- we kept to our sides of the room and I survived) but also because I feel my mood will be unpredictable on the Wellbutrin. Did anyone have this experience with the side effect paranoia and how did you get over it? Or is it better to just be a shut-in for now?