Throwaway bc my ex partner is on Reddit
I was recently diagnosed BP2 after what was probably the height of my depression/hypomania. It lasted a few months. I got on meds about a month ago and I have felt so even keeled the last few weeks it's almost eerie. Never very happy or sad, just kinda feeling things as they come at sad/happy/stressful moments. I'm also in therapy two days a week.
My partner and I broke up maybe 2 weeks ago or so.
Before I was on meds this would have made me absolutely mental. I would be a sobbing mess for weeks/months and do anything and everything (including absolutely irrational things) to get her to come back to me. And I want to say too, that this person was my person. I love her with absolutely all of me. We were made for each other even if we cannot be together. I say that now even rather rational and knowing we should not be together. But I haven't been doing my normal breakup thing at all. I had moments I was deeply sad at first. Then days I've missed her a lot. Now moments that come and go.
But I can get on with my day and do what I need to do.
My thing is I can't tell if the meds have made me completely numb? Am I a zombie like some people say happens? Am I handling this like a normal person would? Am I in denial? Did I actually not love her? Or are the meds just working like they should? I don't know whether or not to bring this up to my psych because I'm so deeply confused by this feeling.
Just looking for feedback to see if anyone else has experienced anything like this