Sorry this is a long one but I really need advice on what to do! I (20F) have a friend(19M) I met on a dating app a couple years ago. He had a bit of a crush on me after meeting and asked me out once but I’ve never seen him romantically and to be honest I find him a bit repulsive. We hung out a few times and became semi close friends but he lives about 2 hours away so I could never find time for him. He didn’t seem to like this much so he got quite clingy and started constantly asking me to meet which made me feel a bit grossed out so I completely cut him off from my life. I do feel bad for cutting him off because he didn’t have many friends at the time but I just felt like I needed to get away from him.
About a year later we got in contact and became friends again. He eventually ended up moving to my city for university. He also joined a band in my city and made friends with my friends who are also in a band that he met through me. It was nice to see him a few times since he came to university but I’ve recently realised that he makes me cringe quite a bit. He’s quite performative in the sense that he cares a lot about how people see him and perceive him and it’s all I’m aware of when I see his instagram or in person. Always posing in any picture or video of him even if he’s in the background. It just makes me cringe a bit. He also always talks about how he loves books an poetry and that’s ABSOLUTELY FINE no judgement for anyone who likes those things but he always talks about it as if he’s trying to impress and it’s blatantly obvious. He is a nice guy but he’s also quite odd in the sense that he eats scraps food off strangers finished plates at restaurants and is quite obnoxious in public. He talks loud when it’s quiet in public transport which drives me crazy because he’s always talking about something majourly cringe.We went to a charity shop once and he talked about stealing something so loud in front of the shopkeeper and then proceeded to ask for a discount on something he was buying. In my opinion you shouldn’t really be doing that when the money is supposed to be going to charity.
I also feel like he’s wormed himself into my life a bit and I can’t escape him because he’s gotten close with so many of my friends. Luckily they see him in the same light too though. He also recently had a breakup with a girl and talked to me about how he just wants to sleep around with people for “experience” which I think is stupid personally. I feel really bad for not liking him and feeling the need to cut him off again but I’ve realised I really don’t like him. At the moment im just not responding to his messages. Everytime I see him now it feels like a chore. I’m not sure how to be honest with him without being rude or hurting his feelings. I also don’t really want to be seeing him because of his history of having a crush me. This is because I have a boyfriend now who isn’t that comfortable with me hanging out with him and is aware about how I feel about him and questions me on why I still keep him in my life. But I can’t really tell my friend that this is the reason for not wanting to see him because when he was in a relationship he continued to hang out with me even though his ex girlfriend was asking him not to and was jealous. Which makes me feel like a bit of an asshole telling him I can’t see him because of my boyfriend. What do you think is the best thing to do?