I did everything wrong
When he abused me I did not contact the police.
I did not want my daughter to see the police arrest her father.
When he convinced my daughter that I was crazy I did not do anything to change her mind.
I did not want to involve my daughter in our fights.
When he left with her I did not try to stop them.
I did not want my daughter to have to choose.
She was 15yo when she left. She is now 20yo and I have no idea of where she is.
I battle with severe depression and receive absolutely no joy from life.
I force myself to get up and go to work but hide in my bedroom as soon as it is over.
Every time I try to take steps to divorce him, I shut down in a complete panic.
He turned all of my "friends" against me.
I came from an incredibly abusive family that I had to walk away from 30 years ago.
I have no emotional or family support in my life.
I have so much debt that he left me with that my credit is shot, I barely live check to check.
I don't kill myself in hope that she might come back to me.