challenges being friends with less attuned people
This is a realization I had of late. You meet people for the first time or catch up with them, and you can see that their whole mode of holding a conversation is like a check in: "I did X, Y, Z" "I went here, there, and that other place" "These things happened to me". And they seem so happy and sincere to connect according to this mode. But there is no actual interest in you and even less regulation against focusing on themselves.
I find it's even more prominent in Male/Male conversations (but not exclusively). It reminds me of when we raise our toddlers - it's all side-by-side play. And sure there's definitely a check-in element to an in-person meeting, and the shorter the interaction the less you get into asking the other person about stuff. But relationships based on check-in conversations feel unbalanced, and ultimately unfulfilling.
I say all this going through decades of my life being unaware of such mechanics going on inside of our interactions. I was probably tagged as a good listener kinda person, but probably didn't push the conversation forward by asking -good- questions about the other person, giving them an opportunity to really share, and giving me the opportunity to learn about them.
So now this stuff is stark, and often acts as a barrier to making friends and other connections.