u/CarrotInevitable5841

First time single in 20 years. I’ve had back to back long term relationships since I was 19, i’m 39 now. They all fail for similar reasons: they’re not ready, I lose interest, they lose interest, I feel suffocated, they feel suffocated. I start dating immediately after a breakup. Now I don’t want a relationship anymore but I don’t know what I want in life. I thought it was my destiny to love and be loved but now it feels like it was all a mirage. I’m disillusioned with the idea of love and don’t think i will find it in this lifetime. But I feel like I can’t function without a relationship and I feel like I’m drowning from the inside. What should be the focus of my life instead of love and relationships based on my chart?