I really need help deciding what I should do.
Disclaimer: I'm posting here because I've already physically taken her to so many vets that I've ran out of vets in my area who will listen to me. I'm just decision-making now and have nobody to talk through this with me.
I am 30 years old from the US. My cat is 14 years old. Fully vaccinated, spayed, never has had any medical issues (except one tooth pulled about a year ago). Bloodwork always perfect.
Other relevant info: She only eats dry food, by her choice not mine. I've tried her entire life to give her wet food and she refuses it. She would rather starve than eat it.
The issue:
Up until a couple months ago she had been acting like a kitten. More energetic than our younger cat, happy, everything normal.
She very suddenly stopped eating one day, and started acting like she wasn't feeling well/like she was in pain, which led me down a road of a ton of vet visits and tests trying to figure out what is wrong with her.
The short of it:
Bloodwork normal.
Chest X-rays normal.
Ultrasound normal.
Full cardio workup normal.
Have ruled out everything except the two options I will mention below.
Her symptoms:
-Eating now (after a food change), but eating strangely. Looks like it's difficult for her to chew.
-Dropping food, sometimes half-chewing it and then dropping.
-Weird mouth smacking/air licking after eating and sometimes also just randomly throughout the day.
-Acting vaguely unwell and not wanting to play but behavior is otherwise fairly normal.
-Overly-dilated eyes (they do shrink to slits in the sunlight, so they are not Permanently dilated, but they are more dilated than normal, almost like she's scared)
-She has a few missing teeth I didn't notice until recently.
What I thought:
This is dental. Too many things add up for it to not be dental. I'm going to schedule her for a dental.
What 2 different vets said:
We're not doing a dental, no way this is dental. She has a little gingivitis and a small red spot on a tooth but her teeth look visually fine. She doesn't seem to have a ton of pain when pressing on them. They have seen cats with way worse teeth who act and eat totally normal.
2nd vet thinks it's neurological (possible brain tumor) and tells me there's no way on god's green earth a cat would be acting strangely over teeth. She is insisting I do an MRI instead of a dental. To the point of getting combative with me over this, and almost seeming offended that I would think it was dental related.
I am not opposed to doing an MRI, and it's not that I don't trust her experience, (although I don't appreciate the way I was brushed off). I have already spent $5,000+ trying to figure this out so money is not an issue. My worry is just about making the wrong choice here and having to put her under twice or more.
We tried an oral steroid for bit (because the neurologist said if it was a brain tumor that would help so we might be able to figure it out that way) but it didn't seem to help much at all. She seemed more or less the same before, during, and after it. So I don't know if that provided any clarity at all.
I just really need help talking through this about what to do in this situation. I am open to doing anything, just terrified of making the wrong choice.