This is my first pregnancy, due May 14 and he basically abandoned me throughout. I have a full time job. He runs his own business which is doing well - too well in fact. Lately, he has more demand than staff resources can supply. He needs a reliable driver which he has yet to find. Last November he asked to create a FB post in local groups advertising for a driver and it got great responses but to my knowledge he hasn’t contacted any of the persons. His excuse on his absence is because he must drive the trucks himself but in my opinion, he did not work hard enough to solve this issue and prefers to stay away.
I have spoken to him about his absence he said bs about when I met he was an entrepreneur and right now his business needs him. He wishes he could be more present and will work on getting staff. That was month 5 of my pregnancy. It’s now month 9, I feel the same way but haven’t brought it up since because what’s the point?
He leaves home around 6:30am while I’m still asleep and doesn’t come home to possibly 11:30pm or later often while I’m back to sleep. He doesn’t call during the day to check on us. He has been to 1 appointment. I’ve had several due to being labeled as high risk. I tell him when I have an appointment but he never asks how it went or how the baby is doing. He has watched me put together a hospital bag and gather baby items but hasn’t offered a cent towards medical bills or baby gear. All that money he makes from his business doesn’t actually help our family. The crib needs to be assembled. The car seat needs to be installed. I can’t do it myself because they‘re too heavy and I don’t know when they will be done.
My retired mom has come to visit from out of the country to help me with the baby so atleast I don’t have to worry about being alone so close to the due date, during baby‘s birth and post partum. The night we picked her from the airport, I felt my body relax. Tension left that I had no idea was there. In the past week, she’s been doing his job, attending doctor’s appointments and going on day care tours.
Only one person from his side reached out and asked how things were going - his adult daughter. She asked for the registry and bought some stuff off it months ago. No one else from his end checked on us (he has 9 siblings, 4 of which live in this state and we visit for special occasions). That is completely okay, they don’t have to check in. When he asked if I wanted a shower - only because his family recently kept asking him if we were having one - I told him no. I was already well into the third trimester and exhausted. I would have to do all the work of getting the shower together since he is never around and we would have to spend money to feed a bunch of people and there is only $500 left on the registry. None of his family actually care, they just want to buy a few things out of a feeling of duty.
I said we could have a housewarming since we just moved into a new home but he has to do everything. The date he chose is my 39th week so who knows if I can be present. Why the fudge did he share the registry link with them when I specifically told him not to do that? It’s like he determined to turn our housewarming into a shower even though that’s exactly what I don’t want.
Am I overreacting?