Confronting My Mom This Weekend-Wish Me Luck
(36f) Took a DNA test (ancestry) and thought it odd that I didn't match with anyone on my dad's side. I have had suspicions of my dad not being my bio dad ever since my mom got high with me and a friend at age 20...she jokingly said he might not be my father. Has NEVER brought it up otherwise. Some folks have commented how I don't look a lot like my dad or my siblings much, but I didn't think anything of it since I just look like a clone of my mother.
Fast forward to my sister taking a test and I saw we matched as half siblings. Told my other sister and she overnighted a test, more so to have another data point to bring up to my mom. Another half sibling match and both of my sisters matched with people on my dad's side. Closest match I have on my bio dad's side is a 1st cousin with a last name I've never come across before. I am the oldest of 4 kids, all born between 1990-95...
So, my mom is coming back into town this weekend and I plan on getting her back to my apartment (telling my bf to buzz off) and I am going to try my best to simply tell her that I am not mad (even though I am...but also not...ugh) and I just simply want the truth. I've informed my siblings of everything and they've been quite supportive, telling me nothing will change and just checking in on me.
I just want this conversation over with but my siblings and my in-laws pretty much all think she is going to clam up on me (as she has when I've soft confronted her before). In the likely event she does clam up on me, I've got 3 approaches: 1. Remind her that we've both been through a lot in life and everything is going to be okay etc. 2. I am not going to blow up this secret if my father and others don't know 3. My final "threat": I will utilize all my ancestry and librarian friends as well as social media to try to get answers if she gives me none.
Any advice/support would be appreciated. Thanks and wishing you all the best on this rough, odd, hard-to-describe journey.
TL;DR: Confronting my mom about 36 year life about my father. She's likely to stay in denial. Would appreciate support and suggestions.