Hello, Im looking for similar stories because I cannot find anything anyone anywhere to help me navigate this.
I have been looking after my son for nearly 3 years now. My husband/the dad has always worked from home.
I have always done lots of activities with my son. We go to playgroups, soft play, play dates, we cook together, garden etc. He has always been on the fussy side and it's not been easy. He was one of those babies who hate being babies so he cried and whined a lot because he wanted to do everything too soon. He also loves hanging out with men, he just wants to be part of the group and acts like he's older than he is when he's among older men which is hilarious.
But day to day, it's just me, mom. Poor dad tries to work and our son will scream murder if I approach him and only wants dad. Dad needs to change his nappy, dad needs to get him from his nap, dad needs to sit with him.... It's been ongoing for more than a year now. Here and there, he will be ok with me, especially when he has no choice because dad has to attend meetings etc
We tried having my husband work outside and our son cried and cried the whole time until dad gave in and came back. But my husband working outside isn't an option anyway, he has a perfectly functional office at home and we just need my toddler to just accept that I am caring for him during the day. On weekends we can't do family stuffs because my son wants one on one with dad or with grandpa/grandma. These are the three people he loves at the moment. He tells me he doesn't love me but he loves his dad all the time.
I of course use that time off to do things for myself but as soon as my son sees me (after a whole day), he can cry and say "I don't want mama" and wants me to leave the room. I have tried everything. Being firm is exhausting because it feels like we're not getting to the root of the problem and like I said, it's been going on for more than a year. Being understanding feels like giving in. I have been soft and firm and so has his dad, but nothing works in the long run.
I am exhausted and sad that my only son, the one I've been caring for for almost 3 years does not miss me and says he doesn't love me all the time for months. I tell him I love him all the time btw. I can't help it, I adore him and I never thought I would have a child one day so it feels surreal sometimes.
Has anyone been in my situation? I need help, this is making me depressed because it has been going on for A LOOOONG TIME.