How can I have healthy boundaries with my family?
I am struggling with this, and it might not seem like a big deal, but I am having trouble creating boundaries. I have been living with my family for so many years, and I used to have a lot of freedom.
My brother was like my personal chauffeur, and in the past, I used to go out a lot. Almost every weekend, I would go somewhere nearby, maybe a three- or four-hour drive away, and spend the whole day outside. Sometimes with my mother, sometimes with both my parents, sometimes just me and my brother. It was never an obligation, and we used to go out a lot. I had freedom and control over that part of my life.
Recently, my brother got married, and now I feel like I have to cater to everyone’s plans. If I want to go out somewhere, I have to think about who else is coming, and it feels like I don’t have that independence anymore.
A few days ago, I made a plan with my sister and my nephews and nieces. I booked a place and arranged a nice picnic setup, and I was really looking forward to it. Then I found out that my brother and sister-in-law are joining us too.
The situation has reached a point where I feel like I have to accommodate them as well. I can’t ask them not to come because they will get upset, but if I take them along, like I have been doing many times lately, I start feeling suffocated.
I genuinely don’t know how to deal with this or how to create healthy boundaries without hurting anyone.