u/CanadianCitizen1969

Saw this online - organization is called @mpuniversity (More Perfect University).

In a surprise move, Cornell's Board of Trustees has mandated the swim test as part of the requirements for faculty positions at Cornell. "We decided that it was time to bring our policies for students into line with those established for faculty," said Board of Trusted spox Skip Bittman. "It just makes sense that everyone should have to demonstrate basic proficiency with swimming," he continued. When asked if this represented a means of discouraging would-be applicants for teaching positions, Bittman laughed and replied "what positions?"

AAUP weighs in.

Law school professor weighs in.

Evoking the recent history of the Covid-era penchant for daily statistical updates, Cornell's official website will begin posting a daily tracker noting the number of days since the University President has run over a student's foot with his car. According to chief University PR flack Chip Diller, this will be a means of communicating Cornell leadership's attention to general excellence and student well-being all at once. "It's like two birds with one stone," Diller said before adding: "I think we're at three, right? That's a pretty clear sign of improvement from where we were just last Friday, no?"

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