Watching my best friend "disappear" into her OBGYN residency. How do I support her without being a burden?
Hey everyone, I’m a non-medico looking for some perspective—mostly because I’m worried about my best friend and I want to make sure I’m understanding what she’s going through.
She recently started her OBGYN residency at a high-volume government hospital. Ever since she started, it’s like a switch flipped. She’s constantly sleep-deprived, disoriented, and when we do talk, her replies are "cold" or very brief. She’s almost entirely stopped socializing.
I know the basics—the hours are brutal and the patient load is overwhelming—but the emotional shift is what’s jarring. She used to be so different, and now she seems almost emotionally numb or "hardened."
The thing is, she chose OBGYN. She’s brilliant at it and studied her heart out to get here. But seeing her like this is tough.
For the residents or doctors here:
• Is this "coldness" a survival mechanism or just pure exhaustion?
• How much of this is the environment of a government hospital (patient behavior, etc.)?
• As a friend, what’s the best way to be there for her? Should I keep reaching out even if I get 1-word answers, or should I give her space?
I just want to be a good support system without adding "social obligation" to her already overflowing plate. Thanks in advance for any insight.