Being part of this subculture ruined my mental health
This might sound stupid to some people, but it's been bothering me for the past year, almost 2 years now so I wanted to make a post talking about it.
Over a year ago, I was harrassed and kicked from a scene group that id hang out with. The owner said it was because "nobody liked me." It started when I posted one of my outfits there and people bullied me for it and two people specifically harassed me and said a lot of disrespectful things to me. Some of them said sorry but the things they said still stick with me.
Ever since then, I've had such a hard time expressing myself through fashion. I constantly compare myself to other scene girls and everytime i'm shopping for clothes I overthink whether or not its scene enough for me to wear. I always feel like I need someone elses approval to enjoy a certain band, a certain clothing brand, or just have any interests at all.
Another thing thats been bothering me is my hair. Back then when the stuff I mentioned earlier had happend, I was not a fan of the idea of straightening my hair because I've always loved my natural hair texture and I didn't want to change it. I recieved a lot of hate for that as well. I did end up straightening my hair for school because my mom would force me to slick back my hair everytime I went out which I hated for many reasons. All the straightening and teasing damaged and broke my hair off to the point where I had to stop and now I style my natural hair the best I can
I know that its stupid to let these things bother me after its been so long but I struggle fitting into places and making friends and I always feel like I'm doing something wrong. I just wanted to get this off my chest since I dont have anyone to talk to about it.