I put down my childhood cat yesterday well I guess two days ago now since it’s 4 am. And I don’t know how to cope. My parents surprised me with her when I was 5 years old. Because I would cry that I needed a friend. She was my best friend. I was that crazy kid who would put her cat in outfits and push her in a babydoll stroller. Then cry when she needed a break and I would say that she hated me. She was my constant. She would cry to get in the shower with anyone when she was younger. She had thumbs. She was such a good cat. These past few years she’s had to live in my room because she couldn’t live outside and my sister developed a severe allergy to cats. Then she started to lose control of her bowels and it kept getting worse. She would cry in pain all the time unless I was with her. It was her time. I put it off for months because I got in a car crash and broke my back. Luckily she went so peacefully and didn’t fight to get in the kennel (as she always had). She purred so loudly against me when they began to sedate her. And she didn’t fight the medicine. But I just want her back, its selfish but I just want her here with me. I keep hearing her meow but she’s not there. I keep thinking I need to close my door so she doesn’t roam the house but I no longer need to. I just don’t know how to move on.
Edit: my mom did tell me “she’s been a good best friend for many years. It’s time for you to be a good best friend and let her go.” Which helps but I want my best friend to be here still.