scared to seek help
Hello,
I've been to 2 different therapists and one told me I'm fine and the other told me nothing but to come back "when I need to".
Tbf, I couldn't really open up to them and just listed out all the facts about my life without really making any point so that might be why. Also, it probably didn't help that my grades and resumes look good. (I don't even know how I managed to make all those accomplishments when my daily life is a mess.)
Anyhow, this got me scared of seeking help.
I keep googling some websites to make appointments only to close the window.
I don't want to believe nor be told that I'm fine. If this is "fine", then I think it was a mistake that I was born as a human. I should have been some other animal with a smaller brain that are not even capable of feeling this way or thinking this much.
I'm only 20 and already very tired of life. Just being here has been very exhausting. And not seeking help is starting to seem like a very slow, unintentional s*icide.
But I'm too scared...