you toward me
you toward me is a universal title for a feeling I carry. it holds the pace of our movement, the honesty I’ve placed here, and the direction that honesty has always wanted to reach. but most importantly, it reflects the physical reality I slowly grew accustomed to, the space where you became real to me
I used to label these letters as crush. but as you can see (yes, you who quietly follow this journey, and even more so you, who unknowingly became the center of it) today allowed me to choose a different one
you may ask why. you may wonder whether this is regression, retreat, or a different road entirely. but to me, this is the clearest sign of forward movement
when I first started writing here, that previous label existed on the edge of becoming. I was still trying to understand what I felt, what I wanted, and whether those feelings could survive reality. they did. I found my answers, and I carried them somewhere this void could no longer reach
and now I return briefly, maybe to process that success, or maybe simply to preserve a few moments before it fully passes
because for me, friendship was always the deepest desire. not because it diminishes attraction, but because it allows attraction to expand, to breathe, to become something steadier. it no longer creates room for questions, but one for answers, for discovering who someone truly is without needing fantasy to fill the silence. in this space, even the gaps become solid
and this time, I want to thank myself first, for being brave enough to step outside these pages and approach you in reality. then I want to thank the universe, because somehow she made sure you would meet me there, halfway, every single time. and finally, I want to thank you, over and over again, for your warmth, your openness, your encouragement, and most of all, for simply being who you are
my feelings are no longer abstract ideas or hopeful projections. they are something alive now, something already in motion, something intertwined with yours in ways I never expected to feel this deeply or this calmly
and maybe soon, I’ll be able to place your initials at the end of a letter like this. not out of possession or certainty, but out of quiet confidence, the kind that no longer fears being seen
just wait and see (this last statement is for me)
- to the person with the deepest gaze, the most hypnotic laughter, and the most captivating smile I have ever known