My friend and I had been planning to attend a major event together for months. Tickets were around 350€ each.
The day tickets went on sale, she told me she had just got tickets to go to a similar event abroad with another friend and had spent her budget on that. She said not to worry and that she’d sort her own ticket out later. I’ll be honest, that already rubbed me the wrong way. We had been actively trying to get these tickets together, she had never mentioned going to a similar event with someone else, and she was telling me this on short notice right as tickets were about to go on sale, leaving me to scramble for someone else to come with me.
As they sell out fast, I offered to help her financially so we could still secure the tickets. She refused, said she didn’t want me to do that and that she’d handle it. I mentioned I was thinking of buying two tickets anyway because I was afraid she wouldn’t find one later, and in that case I had someone who could potentially come with me.
She kept saying she was going to buy a ticket later and said that if that backup person wasn’t really invested in the event, she’d take the spot and pay them back herself instead of buying from a stranger. Looking back at everything, I genuinely thought she was just uncomfortable with me fronting the money — but since she was always going to buy a ticket one way or another, I felt pretty secure buying two.
Before buying anything I gave her one final out. I told her explicitly : since the other person is really just a backup, if you have any doubts — about money or anything else — just say so, no hard feelings. The tickets were already expensive and we’d also have to factor in travel and accommodation, so it wasn’t a decision I took lightly. She responded that she was definitely coming.
So I bought two tickets. When I told her, she was excited — no hesitation whatsoever.
In the months that followed we talked about the event normally. About a month ago she even told me she’d buy the ticket from me by the end of that month. She never brought it up again, but whenever it came up — hotels, logistics — she was engaged. I didn’t want to pressure her so I let it go, assuming she’d come to me when she was ready.
Last night she sent me a long message out of nowhere saying she can’t come. Reason : too expensive and busy.
No mention of the money situation, no attempt to figure out a solution together, not asking me if I still have someone to go with or anything just “hope you understand.” Nothing since.
I’m conflicted because she did tell me early on not to pay for her. But everything after that pointed to her coming : multiple confirmations, genuine excitement, and her own acknowledgment that she’d pay for the spot if needed.
And the event is coming up soon and obviously the person who could have come is no longer available since I never followed up with them.
I haven’t replied. Was this handled badly or am I overreacting ?