u/Bunnita

I told my parents last night, I emailed my father and called my mother. They weren't the first people I told, in fact I put it off until I knew more. I'm still waiting for the results from the second biopsy but telling them was a big step.

My HR person and boss knew before anyone else, and I've told my team at work and most of my peers there, more people at work than related to me know at this point.

My plan before this morning was that after I told my parents I would do a big bcc email to everyone that if they had this I'd want to know. I'm super re-thinking that today so I haven't emailed anyone. I stopped using Facebook during the pandemic, and have only posted there once since when my dog passed in 2023 so I didn't have to keep telling people. I don't use other social media really. I have been telling some people on discord but outside of using it to talk to a few people I don't use that much either.

Who did you tell and when did you do it? How did you do it? I'm not embarrassed or ashamed, but I also don't want to foist my health problems on others. It's not a privacy thing for me, it's a 'I don't want to bother you' thing. I also don't want to tell everyone individually but I also feel like a post after three years is a huge 'pay attention to me' thing and I'm torn over that too.

It's also Mothers day, which I had forgotten, so I wouldn't send an email today anyway. I did feel a little bad that I dropped this on my mother yesterday, but it's fine.

I know there isn't a correct answer, and on top of that there isn't a single correct answer for telling everyone in my life, I'm just not sure what to do. For today I'm going to do nothing but I am curious on how other people dealt with this problem.

I posted here right after I was diagnosed and you all were so supportive, I wanted to give an update. My tumor was diagnosed ductal but it has 'lobular growth pattern' so we got an MRI with contrast last Saturday. The results weren't awesome.

The tumor we thought (from the Mammograms) to be 5mm is actually 3.6 cm and there seems to be a second mass in the same breast. The good news is the other side is clear and all lymph nodes seemed clear also.

I have an MRI guided biopsy on Friday morning. My nurse coordinator was amazing and got me the appointment very fast.

The second mass is 23mm x 10mm x 24mm and it is 16mm from the known cancer. How did the multiple mammograms miss this? What if they had found this while in surgery, maybe not getting clear margins? I have no idea how that would work?

This changes things and makes me not trust the mammograms nearly as much as I used to. My surgeon still think she can still do a lumpectomy which is encouraging, but we are going to talk after we get the results. It means that chemo might be back on the table depending on the pathology reports. I was so focused on how it was so early and it was so small. The doctors still can't feel anything when they examine me, which made more sense when we thought it was 5mm.

Now I wonder how long these things have been there. The Ki-67 on the initial tumor is 0-5% and if it's 3.6cm then maybe it's been there for a while. Could this have been caught years ago when it was very small? Why are these things not seen on the Mammograms? Why aren't MRI's used more since it's such a dramatic difference? Is it always that dramatic?

So many outstanding questions, I'm hoping I'll know more after this biopsy. It is starting to sink in that I am really sick, and this isn't going to be something straightforward. This isn't going to be done by the end of the summer with some medications for a a few years.

I think I'm moving out of denial and moving into depression. It's so much more real now. Thankfully work is amazing but I did take Friday off. The biopsy is at 8am but I'm not going to want to deal with anything after. I don't think I'm ready for this.