I don't really have a good reason for wanting to type it out aside from just wanting to yell into the void about how much this just sucks! Pity me, realise how sad I am now, hold me tightly and tell me it will be alright despite the fact that it won't!
About 4.5 weeks ago, the morning of easter, I woke up horribly dizzy and when I managed to get myself standing upright, I realised that there was no sound in my right ear. I managed to go downstairs without tripping and my parents suggested I might need my ears cleaned. Their soberness about the situation helped a lot-
Got an appointment the same day, had to do some prior cleaning beforehand, but the moment the doctor looked at my ears and told me they were clean, the panic started setting in. Another doctor, then a specialist, an explanation of the possible diagnosis of Sudden Deafness, so best to start Prednison and a quick referral to the hospital but that wouldn't happen until after Easter. I broke down at the pharmacist after not hearing them call my name multiple times.
The dizziness had subsided two days after but the mental hit I got from the deafness lasted for more than a week and I'm probably still not doing okay about it. The specialist was nice, but also realistic. I seem to have almost full hearing loss in my right ear opposed to the perfect hearing I used to have and still have in my left. There is nothing in my blood that signifies a tick bite or a virus, which is good and also, yknow, bad because it's not the reason why I'm half deaf. So next up is an MRI in about a month to make sure its not a benign tumor.
After 4 weeks since the initial hearing loss there seems to be 1% hearing regained, but nothing I can notice. People are happy about that I got some hearing back, but it's nothing useful to me! Don't be happy for me! I still can't hear out of my right!
I got suggestions about hearing aids and despite still needing the MRI, I will be on the waiting list to discuss it with specialists. A cross smth hearing aid, a BAHA, all that will result in mono audio. Now even the suggestion of a cochlear implant has been given for stereo hearing but it will never be the same. A recovery time of over a year, time I don't have with my studies. What if I cry-
Everything about it SUCKS.