i used to be bestfriends with this girl and i put her down in my contacts as an emergency contact.
for context: i moved to a new country so my family is not here & she lives 5 mins away from me so i also consider her my neighbour.
last year we got into a fight, it didn't end well but we apologized & parted ways. the fight itself led me to end the friendship bc we have different attachment & communication styles (im anxious and shes avoidant). i have abandonment issues & during the fight she didn't want to solve the issue or communicate with me, she ghosted me without saying anything & when she returned she didnt want to talk or confront the issue, whereas i wanted to solve things right there and then.
it was our first & only fight where i got to see how she reacts as a person under pressure & when dealing with conflict. but i felt disrespected (she was yelling at me) & abandoned. i never wanted to feel like that again or tolerate a similar circumstance in the future so i ended it.
looking back, there were no red flags before that. i thought of her as someone responsible and she was one of the greatest friends i had. she went the extra mile. she would wake up early to drive me to work, invite me to her family dinners, holidays, etc. so it was a really deep friendship but also very difficult decision to assert my boundary and end it off of that one issue. i ended up in therapy trying to grieve her loss & till this day im sad over it.
like i said, we apologized & on special occasions or holidays we have texted each other to wish one another happy birthday, we still have each other on instagram, but other than that we don't talk anymore, and we havent for a year (since our fight).
ANYWAY now to the present: yesterday my phone accidentally rang all my emergency contacts (and i completely forgot to take her off so she also got a call). she immediately texted me and said "hey everything ok?". i clarified that it was by accident and she said dont worry, as long as you're okay and that if i do ever need anything i can call her. she also said to leave her there as an emergency contact.
i have not replied yet.
i love & care for her deeply still in my heart but is this crossing a boundary? her and her family used to be very kind to me and were my home away from home. even though SHE offered and told me to keep her on, i don't know how to feel or how to respond to that? isn't your emergency contact supposed to be someone you trust & are close with? again, it feels weird considering i haven't talked to her in a year.
and yes practically speaking it is geographically convenient to have her still on, however i also have my housemate so it's not like im out of options or have no one there. so keeping her on would more so be out of some honorary significance.
she is a giver & has a really kind and generous heart so im not surprised that she told me "keep me as an emergency contact please". but part of me feels awful, conflicted, and shy accepting this & burdening her for any reason ever again. my biggest fear is violating her boundary
but maybe this was the universe's sign to be friends again because i miss her and by how she texted me i think she misses me too. obviously it would never be like before, but maybe it would be a start to rekindle something that meant alot to both of us.
TL;DR my phone accidentally rang my emergency contacts which i forgot to update, it had my ex bestfriend on it. she was sweet about it & told me its fine and insisted to keep her on. idk what to reply. any advice for & against this situation & what to text her back would be helpful