I don’t know how to tell my mom what happened to me
Hi everyone. I’m in a bit of a situation and could use some advice.
My mom and I have a very fraught relationship. We both love each other deeply but we fight all the time and it leaves both of us feeling awful. Recently, my mom and I had a huge blowout that left both of us a mess. She said she doesn’t want to speak until we’re both ready to be vulnerable and honest.
A big part of our arguments comes from my inability to be vulnerable with her because of past abuse, not from her but from another family member. It has left me so angry and uncomfortable getting emotionally close with my family members, but it affects me and her the most because we genuinely do love each other. She does not know about the abuse and I never planned on telling her because of the way it would impact my life and everyone else’s lives. It’s a messy situation and I terrified of what would happen once this information is out in the open.
I don’t know how to handle this situation. I want to explain why I have these problems but I don’t know how to open up without disclosing everything that happened. I love her so much and I don’t want to lose her, but the thought of telling her anything is paralyzing.
Any advice is appreciated. I’m struggling over here. Thank you.