My boyfriend and I have been dating for about three months, and things have been really good between us. One thing I’ve been thinking about, though, is how he tends to pay for everything—whether it’s dinners, movies, or little outings. When I stay at his place, he also cooks full meals for me, which I really appreciate.
The context is that he earns a high salary (he works in finance at a major bank and was just promoted), while I’m still finishing my last year of university. Because of that, I don’t really have the same financial capacity, and sometimes I feel a bit uneasy that he’s covering so much.
I do want to be clear that I’m not taking advantage of him. I genuinely don’t care about expensive dates or activities—I’m just as happy staying in and spending time together. I’ve told him that a lot. Whenever he asks what I’d like to do, I usually say that I’m just happy being with him, whether that’s going out or just sitting on the couch talking.
I try to show how much I appreciate him in my own ways. I’ll bring him little things I know he likes (like croissants or desserts), leave him notes around his apartment, and just try to be thoughtful and present with him. It doesn’t feel like anything “extra,” it’s just how I naturally express care.
From what I can tell, this is just part of who he is—he’s very generous by nature, and he’s the same way with his family. His family lives in France while we’re in Canada, and this is his first relationship, so I think having someone close means a lot to him. He’s even told me his apartment feels empty when I’m not there, which honestly meant a lot to hear.
Now he’s talking about taking a trip to New York, and I’m not quite sure how to approach the financial side of that. Part of me feels uncomfortable letting him pay for everything, but at the same time, I know he’s in a very different financial position than I am (like six figures and higher than what's needed for a family of four).
I guess I’m just curious how others—especially men—might see a situation like this.