u/Broad-Operation-408

So to make a long story short.. had a liver abscess twice in two months. Had to stop all rA meds so I started having flares every day. Some that I call mini flares wld come and stay for four hours to two days… I never know how long one will last. How do you go to bed after dealing with a swollen wrist for two days to being woken up with your index finger bent, burning throbbing aching but the wrist is suddenly fine! For two months now it’s a guesting game as to what I will wake up with and how long it will last! I haven’t been able take steroids bc it cld and most likely make the liver abscess start up again bc it still hasn’t fully healed. So now I’m going on five months with no rA meds with st least another 9 week wait to start on infusion therapy.im so tired that I can barely keep lures open. Let me rephrase… it’s not feeling tired..?I feel completely drained like my arms and legs are made out of concrete and even a short trip to the coffee pot causes a complete loss of any energy I had along with pain in whatever joint rA has decided to attack on that given day! I usually try to keep a decent attitude toward this disease. I try to co exist with it in my world bc I’ve learned you can’t fight rA… it doesn’t play fair so you just tip toe around it and let it have the upper hand most days. I reason with myself that if somebody had to get in might as well be me bc at least I’m blessed to have insurance (that will cover my rA drugs but I must fight them for them to be approved), good specialists and I live in a country where I have a choice and resources. But my dear ra’ers… my “good” attitude is wearing very thin as I was told today that the abscess tho small is still there and I have another 9 to 12,weeks to start infusion therapy. Please if you see that a woman in Virginia has gone mad and destroyed public property (if she has a good hand or foot) or is just in the street screaming “why me!” Please do a go fund me to get me out of jail or the mental institution! Hopefully I want to that far but there are days just want to scream in the streets and hit something out of sheer frustration! And again if you are a non ra’er visiting this site bc you have a friend i relative with this disease … well bless you for trying to understand and support someone with this disease. We need compassion, understanding (especially when we have to back out of plans at the last minute), and just true friendship. We can only play the hand we were dealt and we are all trying to navigate this disease. Know we try to hide our pain, fatigue, depression from people. If you want to do something kind for us then let us cry, let us feel pain without comparing it to osteoarthritis, and tell us it’s going to ok as we need your support more than you cld ever know. Be nice to an rA sufferer and we will never forget it and as a bonus you will have a friend have a friend for life! Wishing us all a good nights rest and a pain free morning! Bless and love to you all