So, for two years (nearly three) I have seen significant changes within my menstrual cycle. The pain, discomfort, fatigue and wrenching is unbearable.. i get pain everywhere, can’t pass liquids or bowel movements without manual help, during intercourse and extreme bloating alongside the flare ups. i am a heavy bleeder and due to that my period ends within three/four days. I feel like i get a week off of any pain and then boom, it’s back. during my ovulation, bleeding and recovering i have 3 straight weeks of pure pain. It doesn’t matter the pills i take, the positions i try, the “exercise” that’s been suggested to me by medical professionals: nothing eases it. I faint, i cry, scream for help, sob to the professionals, dose myself up on painkillers to ease my pain to the point im stuck in bed for a week.
“Try this pill”
“Does this morphine not help?”
“Are you drug seeking? this is the highest dose and this should knock a grown man out, how are you still in pain?”
“We can’t operate, you’re too young”
“Even if what you’re saying is true, It looks like mild endo to me, so it doesn’t show up in scans” Sorry, how do you know what is mild and what is severe if you won’t even take more than 15 mins to do a simple tap on my stomach and tell me it’s a brain malfunction with pain receptors? are you living my pain? do you feel unable to breathe because if you move even a millimetre you will feel the invisible knife twisting your reproductive system around? To me even mild endometriosis should be classed as severe! it is such a debilitating condition, cancerous in ways it spreads even.
I’ve been told it’s in my head, that it’s ibs, it’s possible endometriosis then back to “no, no way it is! you’re too young”. I’ve been thrown back and forth through gyno’s and gastroenterologists- countless inpatient admissions to wards which even lasted nearly two months for this pain. I’ve had the scans (other than MRI) i waited two weeks in hospital for the scan, not even to mention the disgusting treatment i did receive from my doctors and nurses.
So many individuals i’ve confided in about my pain tell me it’s endometriosis or something alike and to push for myself towards these medical professionals but no matter how hard i push, cry and shout for myself- i’m told im crazy and it’s normal for people so young to struggle with immense pain. “Just light exercise.”
I can’t imagine how much i’ve cost the ambulances, hospitals and doctors in the NHS bills alone. it is a constant struggle and i find myself thinking, is there a point anymore? do i keep on with this quality of life? I am at a loss and i feel like a burden.
I am tired of such misogyny, dismissal and pure ignorance just because of my age and gender.