My(24M) girlfriend(22F) is behaving weirdly. Is this toxic ?
Hi Redditors,
So me (24M) and my girlfriend (22F) have been together for more than a year now (we do not live together). Things have mostly been good, but recently I feel something has changed in her behavior. She has started acting very possessive.
For context: a few months back, one of my college friends was visiting, so my friend group had plans to go out. Around that time, she had a big fight with me saying that I seem happier with my friends than with her and when I ask her why she thinks so she literally says I was excited to meet my friend( Like yes I was meeting hime after 1 whole year what other emotion should I express 🤡) and also please note i missed my friends Goa trip because I had already planned a trip with my girlfriend (i do not hold it against her this was my choice i wanted to go with her rather than my friends in Goa) does this not show that I am happy with her. This was just before I was scheduled to visit her for her GATE exam I literally traveled from Bangalore to Nagpur to support her.
Now, this Sunday was Mother’s Day, so I spent the day with my mom and took her out shopping. I always inform my girlfriend about my plans in advance, yet she kept calling me every hour to check if I had reached home. That night, she created an issue saying I have “changed” which I genuinely don’t understand.
Here are the reasons she gave:
- I stopped bringing her flowers every day.
Earlier, she lived in a college hostel and there was a flower shop on my way. Now she stays near my house, where there’s no flower shop nearby, so it would require a long detour. Still, whenever we go out, I do get her flowers just not daily anymore since we mostly meet at home.
- I don’t chase her or message her after fights like before.
This time I didn’t, because I was also upset. I feel like she’s making a mountain out of a molehill. I can’t always act lovey-dovey, especially considering I work as a Senior Software Engineer it’s stressful and demanding. On top of that, I take care of my mom, who is a single parent. Despite all this, I try my best for her. Just last week, I celebrated her birthday with a 2-day plan, gave her 5 gifts, and arranged a spa session. Yet she still says I’ve changed.
Latest incident:
I’m currently on-call for work (which means I have to respond to incidents anytime). She called me, and at the same time, I got an alert. I told her and said “I love you.” She said it back. Normally, I say it again before hanging up, but this time I had to rush to handle the issue, so I didn’t.
She immediately called back and started yelling, asking what my problem is and why I’m behaving this way. I explained I had work, and even tried to make it up by being affectionate, but she responded sarcastically (“you sure do”) and cut the call. She also cancelled our evening plan.
I’m honestly very frustrated. I don’t understand what she wants anymore.
Is this behavior toxic? What should I do? She suggest we take a break or something should I accept and move on ? Does break helps things or should I completely end things ?
Note:Used ChatGPT for formatting