I write historical romance with a lot of psychological depth. It means I've done a lot of research on the past and the dynamics between men and women. And up until 80years ago we had a good thing going.
Here is is:
Women didn't want careers - they wanted vocations.
(All that's happened is they have put the distress of 'I want more personal purpose' into 'I have to go be a boss girl for society to approve of me. Women DON'T have more choice. They have less - they HAVE to work. They just get to choose where, but even then that isn't guaranteed, you might end up working in a shop because you have to work. Most women I know who have become mothers really, really don't want to go back to work, they dream of being a SAHM. Its very rare a woman wants to leave her child or outsource her motherhood to daycare, its messed up the situation we are in.) To me the right balance would be to raise girls with this message: You're body is amazing, and being a girl means your life won't be linear, it will fluctuate, sometimes you will be home more, other times you will be more invested in your vocation. It will ebb and flow, choose a path or interest in life that allows you to accommodate biological reality. And yes, men in the same field will likely earn more than you, because they didn't have a ten year gap or work part time. It's positive that men earn well, as we pair with each other, that means father's can support the moments of fluctuations in the life of their wives. It leaves you to have more leisure in your working life, but more is asked of you at home at times. For him, he will always have work pressure without leisure. Both sexes are compromising to work together.
Women DO enjoy being provided, protected, possessed (healthy), and masculinity.
(If they don't then why is historical romance and the fantasy of it worth BILLIONS. Its erotic, but also primitively reassuring and biology meaningful.
Women were throwing stones at the wrong problem and feminism is narcissistic.
Its not that men don't do enough - I've never heard a man whinge: Why do I have to do all the DIY? Why do I have all the gardening? How come I have to clean the car? Empty the Bins? How come I carry all the heavy things? How come I have to unclog the toilet? How come she waited for me to do this? How come I always have to cook on BBQ? When in history did a man ever roll over and go 'Honey, I don't want to go to work or invest in our home anymore, you never do it, it's not fair.' This is so unequal how men get shafted when they work really damn hard and never complain. We are supposed to be a team. For goodness ' sake, girls, get over it. So you have to cook and clean. Why do you resent taking care of your home? That's life, chores happen, its not his fault. He does chores too. Investing in the care of your home is valuable and meaningful. Why resent it. All that's happened is you've taken the whinging from 'I don't want to hoover, why doesn't he bloody well do it?!' to 'Why do I have to sort these minutes for the meeting?! It's not fair.'
Both men and women are suffering from separating sex from babies and easy divorce.
I've read many books, one by WW2 veterans in the UK who were followed over the decades and asked 'was it worth it to fight?' and their number one concern - Greed, community and the role of men and women being degraded. Here was their concern about the pill on its arrival - if we make women infertile at choice, that means men aren't held to a higher standard of treating them. They will become objects of lust rather than wives. You will start to have dating for sex, not love, not marriage, and that shouldn't be the case, people will choose badly, act badly, expectations will drop and degeneracy will follows. That's going to hurt us as a people who should uphold family. Women's roles at home are the very valuable in society; children need their mothers, we support them to get that done. If they want to find something they enjoy, I'll help them follow their dreams.' They also never expected their wives to do everything. There were quotes like, 'sometimes she was tired, and I'd go to the chippy and tell her to rest,' or 'Bless her, the kids sometimes get to her, but she is amazing, and I make sure I come home and take over no matter how tired.' That was the 60s. By the 80s their opinion on the same issue was 'By goodness, the divorce rates? People aren't committing, it's not that we couldn't divorce, we could, but we had more motivation to work together and not let things get bad.' and 'it was rare to see an unhappy couple, it happened'
Anyways. I'm just getting started. I'm probably born in the wrong era.