I’ve struggled with anxiety in social situations for as long as I can remember, especially in bigger group settings. I usually try to avoid them if I can, and when I do go, I become really quiet and serious. It’s not that I don’t want to connect—I just feel uncomfortable and kind of shut down.
In high school, I had a solid group of friends, but when I went to university, everything changed. I found it really hard to connect with people. It felt like everyone else was naturally forming friend groups, and I was just… left out. I do try—I talk when people talk to me, I ask questions back, and I show interest—but it never seems to turn into real friendships.
I’m 23 now and don’t really have a solid friend group. I guess I’m selective about who I spend time with because I value people who actually listen, reciprocate, and are genuinely interesting to talk to. But a lot of the people I’ve met have felt self-centered, don’t ask me anything, or have left me out. I’ve also learned to keep my personal life to myself because it somehow ends up being shared with others.
Something else I’ve noticed is that I can get internally annoyed when people talk excessively without giving space for a real back-and-forth. When that happens, I kind of shut down and become even more quiet.
Lately, I’ve been feeling really sad and on edge about all of this. It seems like making friends comes so easily to everyone else, and I can’t help but feel jealous and anxious about it. I don’t know if something is wrong with me or if anyone else feels this way, but it’s been really hard.