u/Brilliant-Tangelo692

I've considered paganism for many years.

My first longing for it came when I was deconstructing from Christianity. I am currently an agnostic, but have always found beauty and solace in the ideas of paganism.

But I am terrified of delving back into a religion/practice that will trap me, or dictate my life, like Christianity. I am afraid of losing all of the progress I've made since deconstruction.

I am afraid of following something and realizing I do not believe it.

I am also afraid of what others in my life would react, and being ostracized AGAIN.

Has anyone else experienced/felt this way? I feel a spiritual longing somewhere inside of me, but feel like it clashes with my agnosticism.

Simply put:

I am terrified of religion.