u/Brighten2002

I don’t even know how to start this.
My father raised me with words that cut and hands that sometimes hit. I don’t hate him — he grew up with no mother, no love, no one to show him how. But god, it still hurt. It still hurts.
Lately I’ve been having suicidal thoughts. I feel like I’m nothing. Like I’m a waste of air, a waste of space. I’m drowning in debt. I built a drone startup from scratch — poured my heart, my savings, over ₹3 lakhs into it — and some days it feels like I’m just watching it all burn.
I have ADHD. Everything that should be hard is harder. Everything that should hurt, hurts more.
Today I had the worst panic attacks of my life. My chest felt like it was caving in. I couldn’t breathe. I was sitting alone, in tears, and I couldn’t make a single sound.
Here’s the part that kills me — I’m the person my friends call when they’re breaking. I’ve talked people off ledges. I’ve sat with them at 2am. I’ve been the strong one, always.
But tonight I finally felt it. Real depression. The kind that sits on your chest and doesn’t move. The kind that makes you feel completely invisible even when you’re surrounded by people who love you.
I’m still here. But I needed someone to know. Today is the most worst day of my life I got so many suicidal thoughts and I felt more pain in my heart than ever