u/BrightQuarter7491

I’m more than likely going to need a c section TFMR in a couple of weeks and I’ve been spiralling about things being out of my control.

A main worry is the long timeline between having a c section and when we’re cleared to TTC again. I feel guilty and completely out of touch even considering this when we haven’t even gone through the TFMR yet, but I’m really stressing about my age (33F) and that we’ve been trying to have a baby for a while now — basically I’m just stressing that we’re running out of time (which sounds so silly compared to the stress of everything else). I’m hoping that hearing about other people’s experiences with trying again following a c section TFMR might help relieve some of the anxiety I have moving forward.

At our 21 week scan we found out that our baby has tetralogy of fallot, a MCDK, and her other kidney looks to be deteriorating. I had an amnio 2 days ago to determine if there’s a genetic component, but we’ve been warned to expect the worst.

I’m slowly coming to terms (or trying to) with what all this means, but an added complication are two incredibly large fibroids that necessitate I have a c-section TFMR. I’ll then have to have yet more surgery to remove the fibroids before we start trying again.

I feel really overwhelmed at the moment. There’s the trauma and sadness at losing our beloved daughter, plus the knowledge of the physical pain associated with the surgery, and knowing recovery is going to take so much longer — and the c section scar will be yet another constant reminder of what we’ve lost. Not to mention these f***ing fibroids adding so much complication to an already traumatic procedure.

I’m also anxious about the long term implications: that we’ll now have to wait 18 months at least before trying again, when we’ve already suffered a miscarriage and now this, and it really does feel that the universe is against us. I guess it’s because I’m 33, and I’m very aware that my fertility is ticking away. We were so excited to have a baby but the whole experience has been one worsening nightmare after another.