What am I experiencing? Please help
Until about two years ago, I felt like I was living on autopilot. I didn’t overthink much and was generally functioning normally. Then things started to change.
Little bit of my background, I had a very rough childhood. My parents were separated, the environment was toxic, and I never really had what I would call a happy or stable childhood. Later, I moved to another country and life improved in many ways. I met my wife, and she helped shape me into a much better and more responsible person. We’ve been together for eight years.
However, over time, our relationship has changed. We are still young, but we don’t have much intimacy left. We also don’t have children. We have tried a couple of times without success, and I feel like that has created some underlying sadness and tension between us. On top of that, I haven’t bought a home yet, which adds another layer of pressure and sometimes makes me feel like I’ve failed myself in some way.
Around two years ago, I developed severe health anxiety. It started with classic heart attack symptoms—or at least what felt like them. I got checked thoroughly, and everything was fine. Then I began experiencing a strange crawling sensation in my head. The best way I can describe it is like someone slowly pouring water or oil over my scalp. That sensation went away for a while.
Later, I was diagnosed with Non-Alcoholic Fatty Liver Disease, and my health anxiety shifted to that. My tests have mostly been normal, with only slightly elevated levels, but recently the strange sensations in my head have returned.
Sometimes the feeling becomes so overwhelming that I feel like I’m going to crash mentally. I get the urge to run away somewhere far away and be completely alone.
I’m planning to see a psychologist soon, but I wanted to ask:
Has anyone else experienced these kinds of sensations or feelings?
Is there hope that I can get back to feeling like my old self?
Can therapy actually help with this?
I’m in my early 30s, and part of me is scared that this is how I’ll feel for the rest of my life. I’d really appreciate hearing from anyone who has gone through something similar and come out the other side.