I keep on relapsing over and over after 3 month cold turkey
For context, i used smoking for approx 4 years as a way to detach myself from my environment and make me not feel sad, mad or lonely or low.
This became a cycle due to which i went into a kind of zomboid person without a drive, ambition and all which i used to have at one point. It wasnt a good way to live but at least i was calm. At a point it went so bad that cigarettes were like food and water to me. I mean i only smoked 2 to 3 times a day or so but i would skip food but not cigs.
Recently, i was like enough is enough and started to get my life back on track so i stopped smoking once i was out of the bad environment i was at.
Then came the hard part, everything was infinitley harder. Unpleasurable to do and along with that the sense of melancholy and sadness kept coming back. I kinda felt like i sucked at everything, felt hard to communicate with people and the people from my past treating me like shit ( i couldnt completely detach from them. My home was no good my parents are immature and i dont wanna involve them because they will only freak out and make it worse.
I feel like i have no people and nothing going on and i feel like i have no way to better myself and am spending my energy to not go down to smoking and ruin.
I had relapses two times last month and i had 2 in the last 4 days. Its like i cant stop it anymore.
Now its my brain playing games like you broke it. Whats one more time and all. So i end up not doing any work fighting the craving by eating, gaming, wayching movies as a replacement.
I have all my triggers for smoking right there with me i coildnt remove them and have came this far.
Can you guys tell me some ways to get through this?