In this day in age where women are working more, have more dispensable income and are desperate to look and feel young, I’m surprised this doesn’t get talked about more here. Anyone else struggling to deal with a spouses—obsessions with workout—or just excessive weight loss?
My spouse will always talk about her bad family genetics of obesity, which is true compare to my family at least (and maybe I’m just insecure not used to being the chubbier one) , but I think that also highlights how unusual her current weight and goal is. (It’s always *I’ll never be able to maintain this weight so I just need to mauntain* and then 6 months later she’s down another 5lbs). She’s been on testosterone “hormone therapy” I forget what it’s called for 3 years now. She was diabetic in pregnancy, post kids she wanted to reclaim her body, which I get. Even though I felt more like I was drowning with kids 3 years ago, I struggled but I put up with it and her workouts. Life improved , I put up with it last year too. At this point I have FOMO watching my kids grow into school age so I’ve really just focused on the kids, but I can’t help feel sorry for her focusing so much on herself rather than the kids growing. Yes, she looks great but I also really think she’s speed running through their childhood, kids are her third priority behind her job (which I’m thankful for her providing), and her workouts. Now that we’re middle aged and probably thinking more about our mortality, I really struggle thinking about what happens to my children if I were to die as it really seems my wife will never have the personal connection with the kids as I have. I don’t at all believe her to be cheating but also can imagine she would be very quick to hit the dating market after I die, or maybe she’s just waiting for a new hot anesthesiologist to come around at work… but I just don’t see the kids ever having the support and care that I’ve given them which breaks my heart and makes me terrified of death which brings out more stress to me..
To finish, we were in couples therapy for 8 months. Everything was going well so therapist just asked “what do you want to cover”. Knowing this was going to be a tough subject to breach, I brought up my concerns about wife’s weight/testosterone use as calmly as I could. Both my wife and therapist (post menopausal woman) really lost their cool and the therapist even said “we’re medical professionals you have no evidence or reason to have an opinion here actually I think you should get on testosterone, lift big weights, it works for a lot of my male clients” idk about you but one minute being called “ controlling of her body” and next thing offered this completely unsolicited advice, obviously I lost it and cut off our therapy a couple weeks later. A therapist should be able to control their emotions better I was already irked that therapy just feels like getting yelled at by 2 women every week, she really did me a solid making it so easy to be able to have a reason to end therapy
Anyways my wife’s body is excessive at this point too muscly and veiny and it’s unfortunate cuz now anytime I see a muscular in shape woman all I can think is testosterone. But it’s the new hot I guess if you’re an affluent woman.
Also a few nights ago my wife criticized me blaming me and my lack of firm boundaries at bedtime somehow as being the reason my daughter doesn’t want her doing her bedtime. I took that to heart as constructive criticism and will do the best I can to adjust but you know deep down inside I believe it’s from my wife just not giving our daughters the time of day unless it’s convenient for her at the moment if she’s had her workout and everything is done around the house so it’s not fair being blamed for her lack of connection with the kids
Bueller??