u/Brave_Reserve_4739

I was just meditating and thinking about my insecurities when it comes to my fear of committing to the transition. My main problems id say is feeling like

A. I’m physically too masculine/ugly for it to make sense for me to transition at all (though I’ve been making some progress on this one bit by bit, especially with the help of some beautiful people here)

B. That my… mannerisms? Personality or speech etc is hyper masculine or something? Id say I’m not very feminine personally. Or like i can be sometimes ? But my hyper masculine persona is like way more prominent.

I want to say it like doesn’t matter? I know i won’t pass in a million years and I’ll get “clocked” by people who don’t matter regardless so like logically i cannot control it so it doesn’t matter right? I’m just curious how you all think or deal with these thoughts if you had them too.

I feel like transitioning in any form is better than being a male as i am now. But my brain feels fried from fear logic and i process things from every possible angle lol.

Hey everyone! I’m really really sorry if this is rude or not the right place but as a black trans person its very hard to find others who share my culture going through this and I’m at a loss. I’ve recently fully accepted im trans and after doomscrolling trans Reddit for months and being really discouraged seeing only yt girls ive started feeling discouraged from going through with hrt for a few reasons.

1. It feels like only “passable” white girls are accepted as good enough. They seem like the gold standard, everyone desires them and it seems like their genetics give them a headstart since all they have to do is let their hair grow and style it.

2. There’s an obsession with age and clockiness Ive noticed which has me very worried. Im 29 so im unsure if my results would even be worth it and my face is by no means feminine and i have a large man nose i just don’t see myself being nearly as pretty as any of you girls on here and it sends me down a dark path like “what would even be the point if im so ugly i go from being treated as a male now to a freak after” that would be mortifying for me.

3. Pre HRT i do not feel like a girl at all or rather an imposter? For not looking the part or having the parts and wanting to be a girl idek how to explain it. My cousin asked me my pronouns and when i thought about it like i cant call myself she, i just can’t i feel ugly and masculine and it doesn’t feel right. Girls are beautiful and im just not that whatsoever.

Honestly any advice or anything would be appreciated. 🙏