i am a current sophomore and i literally have panic attacks when I think about this. im not particularly close with anyone, last year i met a group of girls that I still eat lunch with but they are all much closer since they began doing cheer together. im not like friendless, people know me and im friends with a good amount of people. The thing is its like those friendships where we're not really friends friends, idk how to explain but like kinda just class friends or something idk. anyway, when i start thinking about big events coming up for me, it eats me alive knowing i dont have "my people" like others do. idk who ill be with during prom taking pictures, during graduation, etc. I barely go out, none of my friends ever really ask to hangout outside of school. it's so sad and humiliating, I honestly dont mind being alone but sometimes its too isolating and seeing everyone meet their lifelong friends makes me feel so much envy. a big part on this is on as well, Idk why i didnt get close with people during my freshman year. i think I was just so conscious about my appearance and how others perceived me that I wanted to just avoid friendships. i also don't have sleepovers or like calling that much while all my friends do that daily. Idk why im making this post but can anyone relate or anything LOL
u/Brave_Hearing_8216
OKAY so im in nyc, first gen low income, and a current sophomore rn. My school is a consortium school (meaning no regents and some other things), we have like 5 APs (2 of them are language) that only juniors and seniors can take. My school is a pretty good school, a lot of people end up going to ivys or very high level schools.
i lowk was too depressed to lock in last year and this year has been so much worse (cousin got killed by a truck and brother got diagnosed with epilepsy ) but these r my stats rn:
94.38/100 (we don't do 4.0 gpa thingy)
member of medical club & psychology club at my school, hoping to get leadership next year
50+ volunteer hours at an elementary school
babysitter/tutor for my younger cousins for 3 years (idk if this counts)
Participant, SYEP (Summer Youth Employment Program) doing it again this summer hopefully
Columbia accomplished neurology program this summer
Member of my school's students admissions board
Fencing (joined this year)
Also, i was placed in Algebra I last year but this year im taking algebra II and geometry together so my schedule's been cramped af, along with that i have practice 4 days a week (2:39-4:30) and tutor kids right after i get back (5:30-7:00). Ill be a bit more free next year since fencing is spring only and ill be done w my tutoring thing by this summer.
I haven't gotten my psat results yet & im only required to take the English regents in June, i also aim to take the sat this September. I'm interested in neurology and want to get more involved within my school and the healthcare environment but idk how to. i applied to hospital volunteer positions but most require you to be 16+ (i turn 16 this September) and i made it through the first round of Mount Sinais application but then got rejected i feel hopeless rn, ik i can do so many things but even with searching i feel like im unable to do anything. I don't want to start a nonprofit or anything just for the sake of college but I really want to do something to help others