Feeling upset and triggered about stigma around divorce
I've (33F) been feeling really discouraged and triggered by the church's views on divorce. My now ex husband walked out on me last summer, we have three young children. when I looked through the phone records I discovered he was cheating on me with tons of women and had a regular mistress he was meeting up with. He told me he didn't want to be married or fight for the family. I was super heartbroken by all of this and for my kids as well.
I've talked with other Christians that are divorced and I discovered quite a few have adultery as the reason they are no longer married, some instances the spouse left them for another person.
The Bible touches on divorce exceptions being walked out on (Corinthians 7:15), and adultery (Matthew 19:9, Matthew 5:32)-both have happened to me. These exceptions provide mercy and sympathy to the rejected spouse.
I get a little discouraged when I see Christian Instagram accounts I follow, one thing that triggered me was a popular pastor saying "God hates divorce but loves the divorcee", insinuating that the divorcee committed a sin and that's why they divorced but according to Jesus (Matthew 19:9) not all of these "divorcees" are sinners for this. I saw another pastor's post saying for Christians to protect their marriages by not being friends with divorced people. My sister's pastor made a comment about how in Hosea the prophet takes back his adulterous wife, insinuating that those who have been a victim of their spouse committing adultery should take them back. I asked about remarriage and he suggested waiting until my husband remarries because God wouldn't want him to leave the new wife for me (even though hes talked about having a live in girlfriend over remarriage).
Another popular Christian author I liked prior to all this states that people should never divorce, even in cases of adultery (but this is a superficial view since sometimes in adultery cases the spouse wants the affair partner and leaves for their spouse for them).
I'm just feeling really sensitive to all this stigma I'm picking up on. Especially since I was at the receiving end of all this, my ex husband rejected me and didn't want me anymore, he walked out, was cheating and just wants other women. I don't support divorce or family breakdown, it's terrible, but not all "divorcees" are sinners