TW: challenging birth story.
Hi everyone. I’m 3 days postpartum which I know comes with a huge hormone shift so I’ve been feeling extremely emotional. I am beyond delighted with our gorgeous baby boy but I wanted to get my birth story out in the open to help me remember and digest and also to understand if there’s any advice on discussing this with my hospital moving forwards.
Context: F32, low risk pregnancy, FTM, 1 x previous missed miscarriage @ 12 weeks last June. Baby arrived at 40+2.
Caveat: every midwife I dealt with was amazing and as supportive as I believe they had the capability to be, especially the several midwives who cared for me in delivery. But I believe circumstances meant my care wasn’t where I needed it to be. Myself and baby were monitored regularly for observations.
Timeline:
Friday (40w): 9:30am second stretch and sweep. Confirmed 1cm dilated with soft cervix.
Saturday
- 01:15: waters break at home.
- 02:00: arrive at hospital for checks. Confirm 1 cm dilated but cervix showing signs of further progress.
- 02:30: return home to monitor contractions
- 05:45: return to hospital with contractions, not quite 4 every 10 minutes but minimum 3 and getting close to 4 on occasion lasting 40-50 seconds. Delivery ward confirm contractions and whilst they said I can manage at home, my preference was to stay in the hospital as a FTM. Manage pain through TENs machine, paracetamol and Dihydrocodeine. Not able to move from delivery to antenatal ward due to lack of beds/midwives. Went for 2 short walks to help move things along.
- 13:00: move from delivery suite to antenatal ward. Managing pain ok and breathing through contractions.
- 20:00 onwards: pain and intensity of contractions begin to increase but still not hitting the magic 4in10. Request a vaginal examination to understand progress and any further pain relief options. Was informed that they would like to wait until 01:00 Sunday morning which is 24 hours since waters breaking to perform an examination.
Sunday
- 00:30: in terrible pain from contractions. Throw up dinner from 18:30 Saturday probably due to exhaustion, heat and the pain.
- 01:00: husband had to chase again for examination. Confirmed I’m now 2cm dilated with my cervix making further progress which was a great sign! Requested to move to delivery suite to have some further pain relief. Told that most extra pain relief will not be available for me until 4cm. My husband tried to ask how long it will be until I am able to move to the delivery suite as a minimum, particularly as it’s now been 24 hours since my waters braking, to be told “they are aware of me” but there’s no midwife to support 1:1 care. By this point I cannot bear to be on the antenatal ward. End up breaking down in the bathroom and corridor with my husband and the antenatal midwife tries to find out how long it will be.
- 03:00 (ish): finally able to move to delivery suite room. Midwife is on break which was fine and she returned by 04:00 (timeline stats to get a little blurry). I overheard our first delivery midwife say during her handover that “I was 3 hours delayed” to moving across.
- 05:00: request accepted for gas & air and epidural. I start to feel comfy and relaxed. Also placed on hormone drip to help with increasing my contractions
- 07:00 - 14:00: this was a pleasant time. Chilled music, feeling calm and satisfied things are moving in the right direction and my needs are being met. My cervix progressed to 10cm 🎉
- 15:00: begin to try pushing. However, babies head position was making it tough to progress as far as we needed to and his heart rate began to drop. Confirmed with the consultant to go to surgery for baby’s safety with plan A and plan B. Plan A: surgical forceps delivery. Plan B: c section.
- 17:00: consultant could not get baby in position to try forceps. Emergency c-section carried out.
(By this point I have been awake for 40 hours, no food for 24 hours and really struggled in the surgery to the point I was sick on the bed, although it was just bile as I had nothing left. The care I received here was amazing and the whole theatre team I am so grateful for).
- 17:33: baby arrives healthy and well 🥹🤍
- 18:20: return from theatre.
My main concerns are:
- did waiting too long to be put on a hormonal drip on the delivery suite contribute to being unable to delivery vaginally? My main priority was always our babies safety and I remained open minded throughout about my options so I am not upset I had a c-section but want to understand the circumstances more.
- between 13:00 Saturday and 01:00 Sunday not having level of pain taken seriously and not receiving the support I needed due to arbitrary “4in10” contraction requirements.
If you’ve made it this far, thanks for reading 🩵💛