u/Brave-HPluver

One thing that really pisses me off is when pro lifers become pro life after getting an abortion themselves. especially when they become very pro life activists. Like do they not realize how different their lives would be if they hadn't gotten that abortion? It's so hypocritical.
There's nothing wrong with regretting your abortions, but using that to (a) take away other women's choices and (b) manipulate other women into not getting abortions is so awful.
anyway, that was my rant, hope you enjoyed

I unfortunately was not raised in the traditional lifestyle, instead I was introduced to it by my best friend several years ago. She taught me a lot, and one of the most interesting things she taught me was what she considered to be traditional beliefs on discipline in marriage. Since then, I have met other traditional people who seem to believe the same, or similar, and I am wondering how wide spread and varied these opinions are.

Husbands as the head of household should primarily be self-disciplined as requiring a lot of outside supervision would affect his ability to lead well. This is somewhat easier for men to do than women, as men tend to be more object-orientated when it comes to thinking, rather than emotional. A lot of their mental processing is also done consciously, meaning it is easier for them to command their thoughts, than for women, who tend to have much more active subconsciousnesses. This is of course not to say that husbands should not have outside influences that help to keep them on track, good ones include your Church or local community that will be a positive influence on you; and of course their wives too, however this one can be a bit tricky. There is of course the stereotype that wives tend to nag there husbands for not doing what they should be doing, and this is in large part true; for a lot of men, the more you tell them to do something, the less they want to do it, which then in turn leads to the nagging cycle. Instead wives should do the opposite and be encouraging and grateful to their husbands, to inspire them to remain disciplined. This is often far more successful.

Now for wives, this is where there tends to be a bit more variety in thought. A lot of the traditional people I have met believe that husbands should be the disciplinarians of their wives, in one way or another. The first reason behind this is that as women are more emotional thinkers, and process things subconsciously a lot more than men, they often do not understand why they do what they do. In modern times, this has been painted as a bad thing, however actually the fact that women operate like this generally is really important for the social fabric of society as a whole, and also for the personal safety of women. Another reason for husbands to discipline their wives is for the emotional support it gives. Several of the wives I know who are disciplined (or deeply wish they were disciplined) by their husbands, all say that they love it because it makes them feel their husbands care about them, and want them to be better, but also that they feel safe from making mistakes, because they know their husbands will ultimately help them to correct them; and also that the discipline can help them regulate their emotions. A lot of wives also like the power dynamic, they find the display of strength and control over them attractive, and increase their respect for their husbands as they will not let them get away with unreasonable behaviour.

I have seen in other subreddits - such as r/GoodGirlsCommunity - lots of people (again mainly women) praising this dynamic for discipline in marriages, but I have not seen anything here, and was wondering what all of your thoughts would be. How do you maintain discipline in your marriage? How does it benefit each of you? What type of discipline do you use?